Timing Issues:

·        Is there enough time at table thinking?

·        Passage of time (suggestions: focus on table at various points to see collection of more debris, check watch)

·        Make sure there is enough time to read bio father’s letter

 

Timing Decisions:

·        Letter:  scroll down letter, while hearing pencil writing in the background.  Finally see the bottom of the letter as bio Dad is signing it.

·        Time Passage: meeting will take place at 3 or 4 o’ clock.  Time will be indicated by the onset of dusk.  We will also possibly include other cues, including increasing debris.

 

Changes to Storyreel:

·        Add arrows indicating zooming and panning direction for clarification on which scenes are zooming and which way cameras are moving

 

Sparkler Scene:

·        Increase the zoom in on the drawn sparkler, as well as the zoom out into the memory world.  This entire scene should be roughly 8-10 seconds, probably 5 seconds in, 5 seconds out.

·        Zoom in on sparkler in drawing, then while zooming out, have camera focus on the sparkler (now in the dream world) creating a first person perspective.  As we get far enough out, steady the camera, and finish zooming so it becomes a third person perspective.

·        The girl in the café will be drawing on black paper with pastels—this helps clean up the transition, making it less stark from pencil on white paper to a real sparkler. 

·        Change camera shot of girl running from bees towards the house, so that it is from the same side as the previous shots.

·        Cut close-up on wedding band hand

·        After the girl in the café kills the bee, pull the camera back to her side, rather than pulling it behind her and changing perspective to the front. 

 

Comics Scene:

·        Girl is actually drawing on a white piece of paper, but the comics are underneath her white paper.

·        Dissolve from her drawing at café table to her drawing on paper as a little kid (Aaron says he agrees)

·        Series of cuts in the comic scene: Cut from close-up of girl’s drawings to over the shoulder view of girl and her drawing (can see that Dad is there), then cut to over the shoulder of Dad to see his drawings

 

Future Issues: